Christmas in the Hospital

I worked the weekend before Christmas so I missed out on Christmas with my in-laws and Christmas with my Dad's side of the family. Thankfully, I had a few days off before Christmas so I was able to see some of my husband's family before they left town. 

I worked Christmas day along with the 27th and 28th, so my immediate family had our family Christmas on the 26th. 

I don't know what it is about this year, but the Christmas season didn't feel like Christmas.  The weather was rainy and warm/muggy, we didn't have any snow, and no one really seemed to be in the Christmas spirit. 

That whole week was a blur. 

As I said before, I worked Christmas day. Holidays in the hospital are hard. Even when you make your patient a cute little Christmas-y name sign to hang over their crib, or their parents bring up a precious outfit and want to take pictures, it's just not quite the same. 

What breaks my heart is when a patient, any patient, has no visitors on a holiday.  I saw it on Thanksgiving and I saw it on Christmas. It's HARD. 

Or when a parent gets unfavorable news about their baby. Or when a patient has a set-back. Or when there's a shift when the alarms never seem to stop ringing.

BUT, what brings absolute JOY to my heart is when a whole slew of family members come in shifts to visit the little one and bring gifts and "ooh and ahh" over a patient. When they dress up in their nicest outfits to take a family Christmas card picture, grandparents and all, in the hospital with their family members that are too sick to be home with them. 

Or when a precious little patient who has been at the hospital for months finally gets their feeding tube removed on Christmas day. 

Or when you get to discharge a patient HOME on Christmas morning and you almost cry when you walk them out to their care and watch them load up their little miracle in their car and drive away.

We even had "Santa" come by and take pictures with some of our patients and their parents. 

I'm getting teary just thinking about all it again.

I had a great day, all things considered. I usually do. I get to love on (mostly -ha!) sweet babies every day for my job. And pray over them. And wonder what they will grow up to do with their lives. I get to help new parents learn how to feed their babies for the first time. I get to teach a new parent how to change a diaper and see the excitement on their face when the doctor says things are improving and they can discuss discharge orders. 

(image credit: Google)

Tis the Season,
Holly

Our {little} Secret: Part 1

After we found out that we were expecting, we couldn't wait to tell our families.

Except we did wait.

I am a notorious "worrier" and I think it may be due to a recessive worrier gene on the Garland side.

I wanted to get through our first doctor appointment, just to make sure that we were 1) really pregnant, and 2) that everything up to that point was normal.

I scheduled our first appointment on November 12th, 2015. So that means from October 21st until the 12th of November, we had to keep our secret.

Talk about a hard couple of weeks.

Actually for me, it wasn't so bad. I am a pretty private person and this was a huge deal for me, for us, and so it was easier for me to remain tight-lipped.  My poor husband on the other hand, was "on the struggle bus."  I'm so proud of him for not slipping up ONCE.

What was really hard was hiding my "morning sickness" (just let me LOL at the fact that it's called morning sickness, when (for me) it's really 24/7, constant sickness, that comes and goes ALL DAY LONG) from my mom/family and from my coworkers. I stayed home a lot and visits with family were short and sweet. Work was a bit easier because I could just say I was tired (which I was) or that my stomach hurt a bit and most people left it alone because there's always something going around at the hospital.

I nibbled on Saltines and sipped Powerade for weeks and drank more Sprite and Ginger Ale than I probably have in all of my life. But I rarely complained (out loud) because I knew that in the end, it would be worth it.

I was a bundle of nerves before our appointment. I just knew my blood pressure was going to be through the roof (IT WASN'T) and that all my vitals were going to be out of whack. (THEY WEREN'T).

Aaron met me for lunch before and I gave him the run down of what I thought the first visit might entail. He doesn't "do" medical stuff.

Long story short, I think our doctor will be fantastic, Aaron handled the appointment like a champ even though he mentioned how he felt like he had germ crawling all over him (BLESS), and we got to see our little nugget on the ultrasound.  Aaron's face in that moment will be one of my other favorite memories. I wish I had videoed it. We saw the little heart just beating away and our baby even moved a tiny bit.

Also, I wish I had known about the ultrasound. I thought it would just be a regular US.

NOPE.

Here's how that little convo went…kind of...

"Okay, we will now walk down the hall so we can get an US of your baby!" said the doctor.

"Oh wonderful! How exciting! We can't wait!" said Holly and Aaron.

walk walk walk….

"Okay, I will need you to undress from the waist down and I'll be back in a minute to do the transvaginal ultrasound."- Dr.

(mental brakes screeching) -Holly & Aaron (mainly Aaron)

So while undressing, I told him the gist of what would happen and to just hang in there and not really watch anything but the screen.

He handled it like a champ.

Meanwhile, I was the one that had a wand stuck in my hoo-ha and was "undressed" from the waist down…. and then I got blood work done. Yay for being a woman! And a mommy! :)

 I think all women should get a reward for that…and after a PAP smear. I am just saying. Maybe like a gift card for free ice cream or something. I think we should make that a "thing."

I would have done way more/worse if it meant we got to see our baby.

WHICH WE DID AND IM STILL TICKLED ABOUT IT. That ultrasound picture will be one of my greatest treasures.

I tried to guess my due date, just so I could order ones of these super cute onesies that I found a few months prior on Etsy! I figured by our timeline, June was the month and we could figure out the actual date at the Dr.
Our doctor said baby Nicholson measured at 8 weeks during our appointment, so our due date is going to be June 20, 2016!

We can't wait to meet you!

Be blessed today,

Holly

First comes LOVE...

(This post has been a few months in the making. I know I should have written it at the time everything was happening, but hey, life gets busy!)

"Aaron and Holly sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

First comes LOVE.

Then comes MARRIAGE.

(then comes a few years to enjoy said marriage…)

THEN comes a BABY in a baby carriage!"

____________________________________________________________

I feel like life as a young adult is just a constant ache/rush/longing/pressured feeling to get to "the next stage of life." 

Whatever that stage may be.

Aaron and I got marriage fairly young, he had just turned 24 and I was 22. But we were in love and we were ready. I mean, we dated all those years. 

It seems to me, and correct me if I'm wrong (don't, I'm not), but when you are in a serious relationship, everyone wants to know if and when you will get married. 

But then there's a new level of annoyance. Once you are married, people start asking when you plan to start a family.  I believe the first of those questions began right after we returned from our honeymoon. No joke. I think it was my grandparents ;) BLESS.

My mom likes to say, "people mean well" and most of the time I can agree with her. 

Aaron and I have talked about babies since high school. How we hoped they would look like us and what our house would look like.

We've talked about babies for 4.5 years now. Adding to and changing our (ever-changing) list of baby names, what sports they might play, schools, where we might want to raise them, but how we weren't quite ready for them. (I can say that the pressure to actually have a baby increases rapidly each year you are married, from SOME people (it's not your life, folks!), but not ALL people. That's another rant for another day.)

But, we've only REALLY talked about babies for the past several months.  When was the right time to start trying, what about insurance, where would we live, would we have family close, what about new/bigger cars, etc? 

One day my sweet, wonderful, loving, crazy, dreamer of a husband looked at me and told me he thought it was the right time. So we talked about it some more and prayed about it and decided to just see what happened. 

I took a pregnancy test the morning of October 9th, 2015. That was the day we had planned to go look at a car for me (see previous pos: thttp://tistheseasontobeholly.blogspot.com/2015/12/rainfall-scratches-and-growing-up.html). It had been a little while, well a little while is relative, I should say it had been an appropriate amount of time and I thought that if, by chance, it was positive, we could celebrate that day since he already had the day off work and we were going to be together all day.

It was negative. 

I was surprised (at myself) how it actually took me a few minutes to compose myself and to go tell Aaron the news. My first and only pregnancy test I had ever taken was negative, which I knew there was a 50/50 chance it would be, but it REALLY bummed me out.  We knew there was an obvious chance that it could take a while to get pregnant, but just seeing the little word on the stick bummed me out for a few days. 

Thankfully, my awesome husband was encouraging and I was able to bounce back to my old self and change my mind set. Still praying and trusting God through the process.

October 21st rolled around. I had been feeling a little sick to my stomach the past couple of days and I told my husband that I was going to take another test and if it was negative, I was going to the Dr because I believed that I had caught some "bug"(there's always something going around) at the hospital. So the morning of the 21st rolled around, Aaron left for work, and I worked up the nerve to take another pregnancy test. 

I left the bathroom and went into the kitchen to fix breakfast for myself and turned on the TV. Several minutes went by before I could muster the courage to walk back into the bathroom. 

When I finally did and the screen said POSITIVE, I kind of flipped out. My poor dog could not figure out what was going on! (He still can't figure out what's going on actually)

I kept the secret ALL day because I wanted to tell Aaron face to face, but I didn't think that I should tell him he needed to come home early or anything.  We even had dinner with one of our couple friends and I was proud of myself for not slipping up in front of them.  

Once we finally got home, we decided to watch a little tv before we went to bed for the night.  I was just sure my face was going to give me away, but I told him I'd be right back and went and got the pregnancy test.  I was on the verge of (happy) tears, so instead of melting into a puddle in front of him by trying to be cute or clever, I just handed him the test.

The look on his face will be one of my favorite memories. :) We were so excited and in our prayers that night we thanked God for our little blessing.

:) we are VERY blessed

Tis the season!

-Holly

Long time, no see!

Um…hey! It's been about 2 years since I last blogged. TWO YEARS (insert face of horror)?!?

First things first, I'm not dead. I know that an unexplained two year absence is not a good sign, but I am still here, alive and well!

Second things second (that's not a real saying), I have to do a quick run down of the past two years so that I can be all caught up!

1) 2012-2015 = The Nursing School Years

I attended Baptist Health School of Nursing to pursue my dream of becoming an RN. It was the hardest three years of my life. I did the traditional 3 year track, the first year was called "pre-professional" and I kind of dipped my toes in the water, just to see if I was really going to like this whole nursing thing.  The second year included Freshman/Sophomore semesters which brought along tough teachers and (seemingly) increasingly tougher exams and clinicals.  The third and final year, which probably was the longest, most difficult, and busiest year of my life so far, consisted of my Junior/Senior semesters. My junior semester had me enrolled in classes covering Pediatrics, Women's Health, and of course the dreaded Med-Surg. Once I conquered those courses, I knew that I could finish nursing school. Senior semester was a blur, full of Critical care exams, drama, and excitement.

I made some great friends, learned hard lessons, and I think I have changed for the better as a person. 

My girls! 2 CCU RNs, 1 NICU RN, 1 ER RN, & 1 OR RN

2) CONWAY, AR - We bought a brand new house in Conway in December of 2013. We moved in with the help of our families and we love our little house! It's a 3 bedroom/2 bath in a small new(ish) neighborhood in Conway. 

It's cute, no?

3) I graduated from nursing school on June 15, 2015. I had the support of my whole family, including Logan & Morgan who were there in spirit!

4) In April of 2015, I decided to stick my neck out and apply for a night shift RN position at Baptist Health Medical Center in the NICU. I had two friends that were currently working there and they just GUSHED about how wonderful it was. I knew my junior semester of nursing school that I wanted to pursue a career in Pediatric nursing. All my friends cringed at the idea of peds, but I just knew in my heart that peds is where I am supposed to be, for now. So after a few weeks of waiting, I got a call to come in for an interview (EEK!)!!! Before the interview, my mom, brother Joshua, and I came into LR early because I had NO clothes that were business attire, so we did a little shopping. I came in for an interview with the nursing supervisor of the NICU and I felt that I did my best and that it went well! I was asked to come back in for another interview with the night shift personnel in a few days.  That interview went well, despite the fact that they were busy that night and kind of forgot I was coming. 

post-interview #1

So about a week later, I got a phone call while I was in clinical, so I checked my phone at lunch and called the number back…it was the nursing supervisor from the NICU offering me a job!!!! I was ecstatic to say the least.  And the news only got better, even though I had interviewed for a night shift position, she offered me a DAY position!!!! Talk about an answered prayer! 

5) Last but certainly not least, the DREADED NCLEX.  After weeks (felt more like months) of waiting, I finally got my ATT (authorization to test) for the NCLEX.  The NCLEX is the board exam that nurses have to take to become licensed.  I scheduled my NCLEX for August 14th and studied like a mad woman for several weeks.  I prayed and prayed and decided to give it all to God. HE brought me through nursing school and I knew that He would bring me through the NCLEX.  I did my part (the studying) and He brought His peace over me. I sat through that test, in a room so filled with anxiety that a person could literally choke on the air, and prayed before every single question.  I had such peace about that exam.  I mean, yes, I was still very nervous about it because it was a big test, but over-all I was calm. When my test hit question 74, the screen went blue and my stomach dropped for half of a second, until I realized that it was just the 2 hour break that the test gives you the option of taking. I said "no" I did not want to take the break, so I went on to the next question, number 75.  After submitting my answer, I held my breath and the screen went blue again, meaning that my test was OVER. I left the testing center with SUCH a weight off of my shoulders.  I may have even been smiling. Not because I was overly confident that I had passed (although I DID feel pretty good about it), but because I was relieved it was over and that peace that God had laid over me was still very much there. With the NCLEX, you can take 75 questions minimum or up to 265 questions maximum. So taking 75 means you did really well or really poorly, and taking 265 does not necessarily mean that you won't pass.

 I took my exam on a Friday morning, so I thought I might find out over the weekend, but surely by Monday morning, as the testing center says that it takes 48 hours for results to post. Well, after waiting what seemed like FOR-EH-VER, Monday morning rolled around, and NO results had posted. I spent Monday checking all the result sites I could check, every hour, all day long. Tuesday morning at 5 something in the morning, my bladder woke me up, so I grabbed my phone to use as a flashlight and made my way to the restroom.  Normally, I'm not a "take your phone into the bathroom" kind of person, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to check the result sites while I was already up. Wouldn't you know it that I saw my name with the RN License behind it and I was screaming (on the inside) because, again, it was 5 in the morning. The funny thing was, as I was leaving my bathroom, I got a text from my friend Brittany (nursing school buddy) and she was congratulating me on passing! She was already up getting ready for work (she passed her NCLEX at the end of July) and she knew I was still awaiting my results so she decided to check too! I got back into bed, wide awake from excitement, so I decided to nudge Aaron to see if he was awake, and when he opened his eyes, I told him my news. He was so happy, but SO sleepy :) He wrapped his arms around me and said he was so proud of me, aaaand then he promptly fell back asleep. Can't blame him. ;)

So much more has happened, especially this year, but I think this blog post is already long enough on it's own! 

Holly Nicholson, RN

Tis the Season,

Holly

It's Official...

IT'S OFFICIAL...

WE are MOVING!

I got into nursing school at Baptist Health in Little Rock!

After 3 months of discussions, Aaron got the job offer we had been praying he would get! Happiness is an understatement. 

It was driving me nuts keeping everything secret, but I finally decided to tell my friends a few weeks ago. We had already told our families but that was all we wanted to tell until we knew more!

 Now there is some pressure to find a place to live. This has been a regular conversation in our home over the past month:

"I think we should just get an apartment and save for a little bit longer until we find a house in an area that we really want to live." (the most logical, right?)

"...okay."

"I think we should just go ahead and get a house since we know we want to live in LR for a long time!"

"...okay."

"So...I have decided that a house is probably not the best idea for us right now..."

"...okay."

"I've decided we should get a house. Maybe even a fixer-upper!"

(excuse me, what?!)

"...okay."

etc. etc.

So if you haven't figured it out, Aaron is the indecisive one. I have gone into super supportive wifey mode about all of this. I know that buying a house right now is probably not in our best interest. I also know that he is sick and tired of living in an apartment where we have to deal with maintenance men, loud neighbors and their annoying/always barking dogs, and the occasional hood rats that like to bump their bass systems in their pimped out trucks while sitting in their driveways. I also understand why paying rent each month is a pain and with a house you are at least putting your money towards something that *YOU* own. 

I told him the other day that if we had to live in a mobile home to get by, I would, because at least we would be together. I know that sounds cheesy but it's the truth. I just want him to be happy and I know that I'm happiest with him. I also know that he would never make me live in a mobile home. ;)

(not that there's anything wrong with that)

 The most recent update is that my parents GRACIOUSLY offered to let us move into their house in Bryant (which is currently for sale) for the time being so that we aren't rushed into a move that we aren't ready to make. 

Perks: only would have to pay utilities and keep the house nice for viewing, & Marley would have a yard :)

Downside: wouldn't be OURS and I wouldn't be able to decorate anything because we would potentially live there for 1 month or 6. You never know.

Aaron and I have decided that we think that's the best option. We could really save a lot and Bryant is actually closer than North Little Rock (where we had previously been looking). 

I just have to say that even thought it's not MY ideal situation, God has definitely provided. I literally had nights where I got 4 or less hours of sleep because my mind was racing about the "What Ifs". I am so thankful that things have worked out the way that they have. I am also so thankful for my parents, who have been SO helpful and supportive this whole time, for friends that are encouraging, and for all those who have sent up prayers for us.

Thank goodness for family and friends. 

We are THRILLED!

Have a happy weekend!

HOLLY